07 October 2013

reply : A little glitch

ok maybe im tooooo emotional

or maybe i am stress

or maybe im homesick hahaahaha nights lovers

a little glitch

hi everyone .its been a long time .almost a year i think? the last update was on my first sem and its my last semester here in cfs.
I am not sure if people around me notice this ,but being here,away from home ,without parental monitoring,somehow teach me how to be more mature in a way that i become less dependent on my parents especially.I learn many new things,about life ,my religion,friendships,family. or maybe i'm just going through that sudden emotional depress feeling that you had at midnight lol
on this last semester,i learned how over-confident,reckless ,irresponsible I am.The fact that I am a little bit comfortable with the subjects I'm taking this semester made me become stubbornly lazy.I thought I was good,clever enough to ace the test with just putting a tiny little effort(ok i lied.i didnt put any effort at all!) I literally watched dramas,animes,and tv shows during my examination week.It hit me bad when i received my results. I failed.....almost everything. Of course at first i thought"ahhh no worries,ill try harder for the final" but I grew more worried and anxious as more and more of my classmates drop a few subject.It made me think twice.should i drop? if yes...then i would have to tell my parents about my result which i dont want to.Just the thought of them hearing the words come out from my mouth breaks my heart.I can already imagine how heartbroken they would be.I may not be a role daughter,but I sure do know how it hurts when our parents cry.
The awry feeling grew worst as final week came nearing .I put my best effort in everything (except in class attendance lol not a morning person) .I slept late doing assignments, i did a discussion group a few times which i would never did before this,and i even when to empty classroom every night to get more alone time studying.The thing is ,I tried...but is it enough ? would my final results be as bad as before? it hurts me every time i talk to my parents nowadays,especially my dad.We dont usually go along well,voth of us have different opinions on lots of things.He refused to accept mine ,and I refused to accept his.But i do admit,i'm pretty close to my dad comparing to my sibs,since showing affections like hugging and saying i love you is not a favorable things to do between my siblings but i still love showering them with all the love.As the oldest sister,i made it my life mission always shows my siblings affections lol im totally off topic now hahah at least it makes me feel better thinking about them.I love my family and i know they love me too though we didnt say it to each other everyday,I hope they know,family comes first to me.Assalamualaikum.

23 October 2012

21 October 2012

Few more days & i am outta here